Shyness is a natural part of personality for many children, but when it prevents them from making friends or speaking up, parents often worry. Quoting information from pafikutaikab.org According to child psychologists, shyness itself is not a flaw it’s a form of social caution. However, with the right support, shy children can learn to build confidence and connect with others more comfortably.
Understanding Shyness in Children
Shyness is often rooted in temperament, meaning some kids are naturally more reserved than others. It may also develop from early experiences, such as overprotective parenting, negative peer interactions, or social anxiety.
“Shy children are often sensitive and observant,” explains Dr. Karen Mitchell, a child psychologist from the University of Melbourne. “They take longer to feel safe in new environments, but that doesn’t mean they can’t become confident. They just need time, patience, and encouragement.”
Experts emphasize that forcing shy children to socialize can backfire, causing them to withdraw even more. Instead, gentle exposure and consistent support help them develop comfort at their own pace.
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1. Create a Safe Emotional Environment
Children are more likely to open up when they feel secure. Parents should validate their child’s feelings instead of labeling them as “too shy” or “antisocial.”
“When parents show understanding — saying things like ‘It’s okay to feel nervous sometimes’ — children learn that their emotions are normal,” says Dr. Mitchell. “This builds emotional safety, which is the foundation of confidence.”
2. Encourage Small Social Steps
Psychologists recommend gradual exposure to social situations. Start with short playdates or small group activities rather than large gatherings. Allowing children to interact in familiar settings helps reduce anxiety and build positive experiences.
Parents can also model confidence by introducing themselves to others or greeting neighbors. “Kids learn by watching,” Dr. Mitchell adds. “When they see their parents engage kindly and calmly, they feel inspired to do the same.”
3. Focus on Strengths, Not Weaknesses
Recognizing a child’s strengths — whether in art, reading, or sports — can significantly boost self-esteem. Praise should focus on effort rather than outcome, such as saying, “I’m proud of how brave you were to talk to your friend today.”
“When children feel capable in one area, that confidence spills over into other parts of their life,” says Dr. Mitchell.
4. Teach Communication Through Play
Playtime is a natural setting for developing social skills. Role-playing games, storytelling, or group activities can help children practice communication in a low-pressure way. Parents can gently guide conversations or show how to ask questions and express thoughts clearly.
5. Avoid Comparing Them to Others
Comparisons even positive ones — can harm a child’s self-image. Telling a shy child to “be more like your outgoing sister” only increases pressure and insecurity. Instead, celebrate their progress, no matter how small.
Helping a shy child open up socially requires patience, empathy, and consistent encouragement. Rather than trying to “fix” shyness, experts advise nurturing self-confidence and emotional security. Over time, with love and support, even the quietest child can find their voice and the courage to use it.
Source: Persatuan Ahli Farmasi Indonesia
